Slowing down

My intention was to start this post with a comment about 'some days, I just don't feel like it', but actually when I started to write it translated into some thoughts about slowing down. I've just had 2 days on a coaching course about relationship selling and how to help team members sell less in order to win more. It all makes absolute sense - spend time getting to know the person you are trying to establish a working relationship with , understand their needs, issues and constraints, be empathic in your discussions with them, prepare more for more productive outcomes. So if it's so obvious, why don't I do this every day?

I found myself at one point getting quite frustrated with a member of the group who was making the point that as coaches we should make additional time to prep for coaching others. "How?" my inner voice was screaming! "Who's making time for me?" Who's helping me prioritise the multitude of different demands on my time that might be just another meeting for me but really important for the person I'm meeting. My diary is my biggest constraint and yet only I can tame it and bring it under control. In doing so I worry that I may become the leader who appears aloof and distant, with little or no time to spend with anyone.

3 other concepts I'm going to capture here due to their wider applicability:
1. Win / Win scenarios and the goal to always think in this way. If a relationship or project is not win / win then the loser will quickly become disheartened and lose momentum so dragging the winner into a losing position over time.
2. Yellow lights - the signals which give you a sense of confusion or concern. While they can be easy to ignore its worth taking the time to check whether it's safe to carry on or not.
3. Value justification - what you are willing and able to pay / give up.

Given all this is highly transferable into every aspect of life, today on my train journey in I'm pausing, going slow to think about what I can do differently. If  2 days out of the normal office routine doesn't result in some change in behaviour why bother? If I'm going to be as effective as I can be and maintain some overall sanity, my diary is the starting point. Much as I'd like to wipe the week clean and start again, I can think about what are the important meetings, commit fully to those and then see what room is left for the other stuff. Maybe if I take some stuff out no one will even notice?!

As for who's coaching me, it's a good question. One to ponder on.