Living life slowly

Time is such a precious thing. This weekend I had just the one daughter at home - my eldest was chasing sheep in Somerset and my husband was reminiscing about days gone by at his 30 year reunion of joining the Royal Marines. We had been looking forward to this one on one time for ages - not because we don't like being together as a family, but because it's special to spend 2 days focusing solely on one person. Knowing that this is the child that loves to curl up and read, do craft projects and take life at her own pace, I'd also reconciled myself to the fact that the weekend as going to be quite relaxing. Having made the mental adjustment I was looking forward to that as well - I recognised that I needed a couple of days going at a slightly slower pace. As it was we walked, swam and did a whole range of things so it wasn't a duvet weekend at all, but it was still lovely.

The reason for sharing this is partly to remind myself of the importance of taking time out to relax and unwind properly. Also to recognise that I still feel the need to give myself permission to do just that. I love my exercise but more and more I'm recognising that there is a balance in this also and if I've kept fit and active through the week I don't need to knock myself out with some mega session at the weekend as well.

This post also comes from a growing observation about how easy it is not to look after the whole you when you are busy and time is limited. It's also very difficult to make the adjustments to a more balanced life when running at full pelt. No wonder people take time out for retreats and so on when they want to make a change. Changing the tyres on the race car when it's at top speed is neither easy nor is it the way to an optimum result. I've always said before that I wouldn't want to wait for a health scare before taking steps to slow things down. I don't think I'm in a place where that's a risk, but also I wonder whether the optimum approach is to fill every waking hour with 'stuff' until you are at retirement age and then hope you have a long retirement to enjoy the fruits of your labour. Trouble is I hear too many people for whom that doesn't work out.

My dilemma has always been whether I would fill every hour regardless of what I do and what I'm paid - so is it my nature to push myself hard all of the time? But could I create more space and time? One of the things I do that takes up a lot of time is commute. 3 days a week, 4 hours a day. I'm trialing only doing it 2 days a week. Does it matter? Does anyone notice? Is there a positive impact on the people who then see me more often in a different office? The other question I've asked myself is whether moving to 4 days a week would work and be beneficial. The risk I take is that everything gets squeezed into 4 days rather than 4.5 and I do the same amount but for less pay. It would give me more time for the family and me, but I'm not yet convinced the trade off would work in my favour.

I guess there's no moral or lesson to this post. I don't have the answers. I'm going to let it sit with me for a while longer to see what feels right. The answer will come if I'm open to the questions.