Where did that come from?!

Is it always the case that the what and why are mixed? As I'm out here, seeking some higher purpose, I realise that my thinking is confused by the fact that I'm essentially trying to find something different to do which is more engaging, and calling that a quest for purpose. Am I over thinking this whole thing??

I'd also like to make a minor retraction on the previous post following a conversation yesterday about a shared desire to do 'something different'. This person asked if it's just my mid life crisis kicking in and told a story of having walked away from a similar practice and taken 5 years out in which time he did a bunch of different things. It helped him deal with a range of attributes he'd previously struggled with, as well as some family issues I suspect, but now he's back in the thick of it. Unlike me he doesn't need to work, but chooses to. The question he was asking yesterday (one of the first really beautiful sunny days of the Spring) - why do I do this?

So why do I do this? I came home from work on Tuesday evening early enough to witness from the upstairs window a scene of domestic bliss in the garden. Glenn was mowing the lawn, happy on his ride-on, and the girls were laughing as they bounced on the trampoline at the bottom of our beautiful garden. Our garden isn't formal, it's a woodland garden with damp spots and more moss than grass, but it's lovely and this, along with our house is a big part of why I do what I do. The fact that we have renovated our house so it's just right for us on money I have earned makes me immensely proud. The fact that we can privately educate our children and give them a good start to life makes me proud. The fact that we can go on holiday, drive the cars we want, eat the food we want, wear the clothes we want - all within reason of course - makes me proud. All this also makes me very happy.  I worry sometimes that something will burst our perfect bubble, but as long as we have each other, we'll be fine. I also manage to make my days work for me and my family, I'm only in London 3 days a week and I have all the flexibility I need, when I need it. I work hard but no-one expects me to be in the office all the time, so I can move around at ease. We have our health, our happiness and our home. As an individual I am more fulfilled than I can describe.

[BTW, everybody should write down how they are blessed periodically - that filled me with positive  emotions - what a good thing to do!]

So let's try that for work. I work with great people. With only a few exceptions they are engaged, intelligent, active in body and mind, interesting people, and amongst them there are a number that I can happily say are friends as well as colleagues. We are (on paper) a purpose led organisation with great policies and the intent to do great things. We strive to do our best with our clients, who by the way are the most successful organisations on the planet and with whom we do some amazing stuff. We have good office spaces, some are better than others, and the flexibility to operate in the ways we believe fit to deliver our objectives. We offer all kinds of development activities to our people, if they can navigate the systems to find them. We care deeply about what we do, and make all kinds of personal compromises to deliver to the highest standard we can. There are pockets of true brilliance amongst us - if only we could replicate it more widely we would be unstoppable. I could now talk about what's not working, but I won't - this is an exercise in appreciative enquiry! I'm proud that for someone who couldn't have got in on A Level results to one of the Big 4, I am approaching the 10 year anniversary of making partner (first time around). It's by no means all bad.

So what and why...I attended a partner meeting this morning at which I opened my mouth and out came a well defined vision of what I want to achieve. As I was saying it part of my brain was asking:   'where is this coming from?!'  Even by my calculation it sounded rational and well thought through. I suspect all this reflection is beginning to pay some dividends as my subconscious mind sorts out the what while I question the why. Amazing how that happens really.  So if my vision is to create a Risk business which has relevance for the business transformation journeys and complex ecosystems our clients will face in an increasingly connected world, I just now need to work out how to navigate where I am to day to where I want to be. If I combine this with a purpose of a building a business which leaves a legacy of strong teaming and shared values that would be amazing. So is that my what and why.... Time to reflect!!